Count to 100

Does your mind race around trying to keep track of the things you have to do? Mine does. Even with my compulsion for list-making, my monkey mind just hops around and bounces back and forth, reviewing what I've done, setting up what needs to be done, flicking through my mental file just who's on my "To Delegate" list, on and on.

Monkey Mind does pretty well (with the help of those lists!) and often, as my little internal file keeper is reorganizing and categorizing what Monkey Mind is tossing around, she brings to the surface some important item that got buried or a new idea for solving a current situation. So I don't like to put the lid on Monkey Mind or Ms. Inner Filer all that often. However. When I'm ready to go to sleep, I really do need the dynamic duo of Mind and Filer to take a break. Whew! Tough one.

There are a lot of suggestions I've read--no computer, no e-mail, no phone, no TV; visualization of a pleasant landscape, reading a few pages of a soothing book, listening to soothing music or sounds. All good suggestions. I do these from time to time. But I find that what helps me most is to count to one hundred.

Get comfy in bed; relax against the pillows; turn off the lights, TV, radio; settle into the dark and the relative quiet.

Tell yourself that you will focus on this counting until you reach 100. If you reach 100 and you're still wide awake, then you may need to try that visualization method, but you're going to allow yourself to stick with this to 100.

Then direct your attention to your breath.
Breathe in, as you breathe out, count 1.
Breathe in, as you breathe out, count 2.
Breathe in, as you breathe out, count 3. And so on.

Don't try to breathe deep or change your breathing rate. Just, every time you breathe in and out, count.

If a thought comes wafting in (and it will), gently redirect your attention to your breath and continue counting. If you hear sounds from the other room, or feel movement on the bed for whatever reason, acknowledge it and go back to attending to your breath and counting. If you lose count, start where you left off and keep going. Don't angst about missing numbers, just resume your attention and your counting.

I usually count from one to ten, then start over because counting from one to ten is so completely a part of me that I can do it, well, in my sleep. And that is the point.

With this method, even though I give myself permission to count to 100, I get to the 5th or 6th round of counting to 10 (or to 50 or 60 if I count in sequence), and I'm out. For the night. I even feel skeptical some nights when I'm really wound and I'm certain that Monkey Mind and Ms. Filer will never let me sleep. Attending to my breath and counting works every time.

Now I know you're going to say, "But that's kind of like counting sheep, and that's silly." Counting sheep does work for some people. If it works for you, by all means, continue. My problem is that when I'm counting sheep, I start to make up stories about each one, why is this one underfed, why is that one so fluffy, and did that one have anything to do with the fire at the farm earlier that day. So you see, sheep do not help me in the least. They could be labelled "Enablers" to sleepnessness. Let's not go there.

Try the breath counting. It works for me. It could work for you.

Pleasant dreams and blessings on your caregiving.

Look Around You; REALLY Look

I've just gotten back from the UU Christian Fellowship Revival in Texas which counts toward my need to "Get Outta Dodge." Working from home, caregiving in your home, not ever leaving home--not good for your mental health. That would be a post in the Blog "Take a Vacation!", but we are in the business here of sharing ideas for Mini-vacations.

My break did remind me that no matter how big the Texas sky or vast the land there, I love the scenery of North Carolina. It speaks to me deep down. Not just the landscapes, but the view right out my windows. So today, for your mini-vacation, I invite you to look outside. Not a glance or a quick scan, but a 5- or 10-minute-study. Look out any window (or step out on the balcony, porch or deck to get smells and sound effects) and really look.

What do you see? A busy street with cars and trucks and motorcycles and SUV's? Is it tree-lined or paved? What colors do you see? Are the buildings brick or wood or siding? What color? What shape or texture? Or do you see a green lawn or stones in every shade of brown and beige? Any wildlife? Birds, bees, bears? Any pets masquerading as wildlife? Is it windy or calm? Is there sunlight bouncing around or is it overcast? What shape are the clouds...or is it clear? Are there people outside? How are they dressed? I have a friend that loves picking out people on the street and making up stories about where they're going and where they've been. Be a little creative if you want.

You can stop me any time now.

Your turn. Get up from your computer and look out the window. Really look.

Blessings on your caregiving today!

Dancing the Twofer

All experts agree that everyone (even you, Caregiver) needs to "exercise" 30 minutes a day to help maintain physical health. I put "exercise" in quotes because the more I read, the more I've come to understand that it's about Movement. You need to get out of the car, off the couch, out of the office chair in front of a computer and Move.

Now for some reason (excuses, laziness, stubborness, bad weather, whatever), I have not yet become disciplined enough to always get in a nice aerobic bike ride or my session at Curves or even a brisk walk.

So at the very least I try to go for a Movement Twofer, as in Two-for-One Effort.

I've chosen some household tasks that I'd like to do on a regular basis. Things that take physical effort. And I plan time to spend 30 minutes on that activity.

Vacuuming is a great Twofer. Especially if you move some furniture, vacuum sofa pillows and vacuum the stairs. Add picking up throw rugs and going up and down stairs to dump them in the washer, and you're working up a nice, warm glow--as elegant ladies (who do not sweat!) say.

Scrubbing the shower is also a great Twofer. Wiping down the walls, scrubbing the floor, rinsing everything off. Oh, yeah.

Mopping the floors. I have a fairly large kitchen, so moving furniture, getting the bucket ready and mopping, all done at a steady pace...definitely glowing after 30 minutes of that.

And hey, while you're doing that, turn on your favorite music. Something with a good beat for dancing and boogy your way through the activity you've chosen.

Dancing the Twofer. Now there's a reality show just waiting to happen.

Not!

Blessings on your caregiving today!

Buy Yourself Some Flowers

It would be really great if those who loved us could read our minds. Then, they would know when we needed a pick-me-up and they'd come through with a hug, or a card or flowers. But our closest friends and relatives do not have superpowers and can't read our minds (darn!). Sometimes we need to give ourselves that pick-me-up. That's the whole point of mini-vacations.

That's the whole point of flowers.

Flowers don't cost much. They're free if you raid your own yard or the neighbor's (with permission, of course). I can get a small bouquet of mixed flowers in an array of colors for $5 at my local grocery and I get about a week's worth of colorful pleasure. If you go to your local florist, you may be able to purchase just one rose or daisy or carnation and bring that bit of nature and color into your home.

Then you can take a little time arranging them in a vase, slipping them into a tall glass or just sticking them in a coffee can. Then you can decide where you'd like them displayed.

And all this time you're thinking about how pretty they are and how they brighten the place up. Nice break from other things that are usually on your mind.

Even guys like flowers. I know this because my husband is always pleasantly surprised whenever I bring home a small bunch just for him.

So don't wait for a telepath with mind-reading abilities to come your way. If you need a mini-vacation, pick up some flowers, take a little time with them. Then savor them while they last. Wow! The mini-vacation that keeps on giving. What's not to like?

Blessings on your caregiving day!

Too Much Information

When I was in active caregiver mode, I found a book titled Breathing Space by Jeff Davidson (2007 edition is still available), and found a powerful way to decrease the level of stress in my daily life. I state it as:

Cut Down On the Amount of Information Coming at You.

Before I began caregiving for my Mom, I watched local and national news on TV, I read a local newspaper, two national newspapers and several magazines, and I listened to radio talk shows and spent lots of time on the phone and with e-mail and the Web.

I was Connected!

Then I became a caregiver, and I allowed the pattern of information flow to continue.

I was Connected...and completely overwhelmed.

Breathing Space really helped me look at all the sources of information literally flying at me. I started to detach. I chose one evening TV news program. I stopped listening to the radio shows. I stopped all the magazine subscriptions except one that I truly enjoyed (mini-vacations here). I stopped reading all the newspapers. I got myself off every marketing e-mail list that did not have to do with my caring and limited my e-mail and online time to one-half hour every day. During certain hours of the day, I let all my personal calls go directly to voice mail and only checked messages twice a day.

I finally began to feel that breathing space Jeff Davidson talked about. And saved some money, too.

In our society, there is an unspoken rule that we NEED to be connected to information and people 24/7/365. That's just not true.

Why do you NEED to listen to three news programs, all of which are reporting the dire straits of the world? You're caring for a parent. That can be pretty dire all by itself. At the very least, it's plenty stressful. You don't need to know every detail about the world's stress, too.

Why do you NEED to answer every phone call the moment it arrives? Truth, most calls can go directly to voicemail and you can screen them later.

Become aware of every bit of information around you. Think about how each source of information affects you emotionally, how much time each takes, and whether it's adding any value to your crowded life. If the information stresses you, takes too much time telling you things you already know, and rarely brings you pleasure (only another "have to"), get it out of your life.

Create Information Breathing Space. Ah-h-h.

Blessings on your caregiving day!