Blow Some Bubbles

For my mini-vacation today, I blew bubbles. Lots of shiny, floaty, pretty bubbles.

Last weekend, my husband and I celebrated a friend's wedding. I remember when the bride and groom were showered with rice as they left the church. Rice symbolizes fertility, wishing the couple prosperity in their marriage, and feeding the Evil Spirits so they'll stay away. Sometime in the 1990's American wedding parties began using alternatives, like confetti, popcorn, flower petals, or birdseed. Our friends arranged for each of us to get a tiny plastic bottle of bubble soap. As they walked from the church to the trolley car (another story), we showered them with bubbles.

Of course, we didn't use all our bubble soap at the wedding, so the bottles came home with us. And now, I'm putting them to good use for mini-vacations.

There is something very relaxing about creating bubbles with your own breath. It's a bit magical. There's this shiny film of liquid poised in the oval of plastic, dripping just a little, and then you gently blow. And a bounty of bubbles appear, floating in shiny abandon until they pop. Amazing.

You don't need to attend a wedding. You could buy some bubble solution at a store. But you can also make your own solution at home. You can become a bubble-blowing expert. Goodness, the possibilities are endless!

But as caregivers, we know that we probably don't have time to become a bona fide bubble-blowing expert. At least not right now. But we can dunk our little ring in bubble solution and blow. Imagine some of your troubles popping into oblivion. Imagine your wishes, hopes and prayers rising into the universe. Just watch the play of light over the bubbles.

Bubbles make great mini-vacations. All you have to do is...blow.

Blessings on your caregiving day!

Staycations

"Staycation" A noun. Created in the early 2000's. Similar to a vacation, except the activities are done close to home. Or in the backyard. Or on the couch. ~LaVerne's Kinda Informal Dictionary

I like this new word that the media created not long after the financial crisis hit. It says that we can take time off, and we don't have to hassle with packing or airline security or finding a place for the pet. Don't misunderstand. I cherish my time out of town. I work from home, so if I don't get out of town regularly, I have a bit of an emotional meltdown. Just ask my husband!

But there are times when getting the heck out of town doesn't work. Like last summer, when my husband was in school and keeping up with his Dad's care, and I was knee deep in a major project for a client. We weren't going anywhere. But we could plan regular staycations.

Make a list of all the things you usually do on vacation. Go out to eat. Play miniature golf. Or 18-holes of golf. Swim. Read a popular fiction novel. Watch a marathon of a favorite TV show. Go to the movies. Whatever.

Now plan to do all these things. Maybe in one week (now there's some serious down time!), or a long weekend. Maybe one activity a week for a couple of months.

It is summertime, and staycations may include the family, but not necessarily. Fall is coming. The kids are going back to school. While you're planning for the family's Fall schedule, don't forget you. Plan regular staycations for yourself. You'll have something to look forward to all the time. And that can really lift your spirits when the caregiving gets rough.

Staycation! It's a word whose time has come.

Blessings on your caregiving--and your staycations!

Be a Tourist

I was off last week, taking my own gift-of-the-month. We drove to Wrightsville Beach in North Carolina for a few days, not too far from our home, and the trip reminded me of an easy way to plan for a brief break close to home.

Play tourist, right where you live.

Go to the library, bookstore or AAA office (if you're a member) and get a tourbook for your state or local area. Check out your state's tourism bureau on the web and look for tourist maps in grocery stores. I found a map of North Carolina Civil War sites that makes a good resource for small trips around the area. I picked up a great book in the bookstore called "Day Trips from Raleigh-Durham" and I requested a copy of the AAA tourbook that covers North Carolina. When I'm planning a couple of hours for a local holiday, I look through these books for the tourist attractions--museums, parks, shopping centers, historic sites, craft studios, buildings of local significance, and factory tours. In many tourbooks, the entry for an attraction will note how long a typical visit lasts. I pick what strikes my fancy and fits my schedule. Then I act like a tourist and visit.

In tourist mode, I've learned a lot about North Carolina and seen beautiful local scenery which I would never have known existed--all while giving myself time away from the normal stresses of life.

These local mini-trips are low-cost, save gas, and help the local economy. It's all good.

Take care of yourself today. Be a tourist.

Blessings on your caregiving!

Dying To Care

My usual intent here at 20 Mini-Vacations is to be up-beat and encouraging. Today I'm going to get serious and give you a sobering fact.

You may be dying to care.

Right now.

Shelly Webb at The Intentional Caregiver says in her June Newsletter "It's been said that almost 50% of caregivers die BEFORE the person for whom they are caring." Fifty percent. Count 'em, that's HALF! In his keynote presentation at the Raleigh Triangle Caregivers Conference Dr. Jamie Huysen confirmed this statistical fact with research to back it up.

Half of the 80 million family caregivers out there (Dr. Jamie's number) will die before their elder.

Why?

• Because we caregivers do not take care of ourselves as well as we should.
• Because we come up with every excuse we can think of to avoid taking a break.
• Because we let guilt instead of common sense be our guide.
• Because we don't think we're important enough to give ourselves even mini-vacations.
• Because we don't trust anyone else to help, to care our way, to care the correct way.

Any of this resonate?

Dr. Jamie told his audience that caregivers who do not take care of themselves, who do not find time to laugh and play, who are in the caregiving role 24/7, who do not use every supporting resource available--these caregivers can become victims of post-traumatic stress disorder. Yes, PTSD, the disorder by soldiers in war. Or these caregivers develop PTSD's milder, yet still disabling, cousin: Compassion Fatigue.

The good news? Early Death, PTSD, Compassion Fatigue. These are all PREVENTABLE.

All you need to do is to give yourself the same consideration that you give your ailing parent, your spouse, your children, your volunteer group, your pet. Put yourself at the top of your Care List.

Every day, among all the things you do for someone else, do at least one thing for yourself.

Every day. Without fail.

Then, you'll be Living to Care.

POD: Take A Class

I exhibited at the Triangle Caregivers Conference yesterday in Raleigh, NC, and in addition to the sessions on the business of caregiving and dementia care, there was a whole track of sessions on Self-care--exactly what we talk about here at 20 Mini-Vacations. My table neighbor in the exhibit hall was a gentleman from a wellness center that offers yoga classes, and that led me to this post.

A one-hour session of yoga with an experienced instructor is a great Pause-of-the-Day, and attending twice a week provides even more physical and psychological benefits. If yoga is not for you (I'm a Tai Chi person myself), then choose another physical activity where there is movement, interaction with people other than your elder or care team, and the chance to work off tension.

If you already have an exercise routine in place that works for you, consider one class in some area you'd like to explore--learn a language, woodworking, try out a new computer program, explore history, take up pottery creation. The important part is to remove yourself from the "caring environment"--in which, by the way, you are not personally receiving much care--and place yourself in a stimulating, distracting, and pleasurable environment where you get real relief and satisfaction.

Where do you find classes, even free or low cost? Check out the local university or community college; the city or county recreation and education departments; the newspaper; public bulletin boards at the library, shopping center, or market; ask your friends. Once you are tuned to this low-key search, you'll begin noticing POD class opportunities.

Have you taken your mini-vacation today? If not, right now is a great time.

Blessings on your caring--for YOU!